PANIC! FOR I HAVE SINNED ,

[zephyr drew clayton]

ZEPHYRDREWCLAYTON

" it's a long drive back to vegas skies "

DON'TTAKETHEMFACESFORTHEIR
VALUEINACYNICALTOWN

full name , zephyr drew clayton.
nick names , zee, zeph, zep, zephy.
age & birthday , nineteen, october eleventh.
gender , male.
sexual preference , in the closet bisexual.
band , love is like a relapse.
position , lead guitar and backing vocals.
played by , ryan ross.

DON'TGETOFFENEDIF
THERE'SSOMETHINGYOUMISSED

weight , around one-hundred pounds.
height , six feet and two inches.
tattoos & piercings , wrist tattoos and symbol tattoos on the back of his arms.
distinguishing features ,
it's rare to see a smile on zephyr's face, but when it's there its as if someone should put a spot light on it. his smile, as cliche as it is, is perfect. no, he doesn't have brilliant white teeth or amazing lips(at least he doesn't think so), but he's got a wonderful smile. it has a way of making everyone who sees it to stop and admire just how one small gesture can change the whole moon of a room. maybe not a good feature to be picked out on, but zephyr is ungodly thin. he really is just a skeleton and he normally gets hurt a lot more when he bumps into things from just being skin and bone. but he's not too gangly. everything seems to fit, at least in other people's eyes it does.

NEXTTHINGYOUKNOWPECULIAR
FACESSTARTHANGINGAROUND

likes ,
vitamin water, animals, reading, writing, coloring, creativity, ideas, plays, cell phones, texting, picture messages, computers, typing, ipods, music, glitter, projects, improvement, life, markers and crayons, taking pictures, scenery, quiet, self-control, bright colors, warm weather, beaches, water, swimming, disney movies, television, english, foreign languages, paper clips, clicker pens, caffeine, candy, riddles, silly faces, emoticons, instant messaging, thinking, long hair, warmth, closeness, sincerity, dependence, boys, cuddling, hugs, kisses, friends, dancing, time to himself, candles, sweet scents, penguins, picture frames, solutions, love, silicone brackets, make up, massages, head phones, dark rooms, blankets, romantic movies, laughing, rain, thunderstorms, finger paints, designing, photoshop, rings.

dislikes ,
loud noises, body odor, broken glass, camera flashes, snow, cold weather, sneezing, bugs, greasy hair, paper cuts, clothes line clips, cd's, power cords, dust, clothing imprints, snakes, too much immaturity, paper planes, getting poked, clowns, screams, pencil shaving, rap music, depression, writer's block, assignments, blank paper, his middle name, secrets, itches you can't reach, repetitive writing, the colors red and yellow, smoke, cigarettes, pillow cases, too much perfume/cologne, most remix's, slow drivers, microphone feedback, people that talk with their hands, bad grammar, getting fast food orders wrong, hypocrites, stereotyping, homophobes, animal abuse, meat, showing too much skin, obnoxious people, death, solitude, snorting, math, lazer pointers, fashion trends, sugar highs.

personality ,
• ABSOLUTE
when you grow up and raise yourself, you learn at a very young age that the real world is nothing like the inside of a class room. for zephyr, his class room was his kitchen or living room. his father was an alcoholic and his mother dead, he taught himself. now, he is still very independent. admitting he needs help with something is rare for this boy. he likes to do things on his own; thinking if he submits to getting help that he's getting lazy. zephyr is the kind of person that doesn't like feeling useless. if he doesn't have something to do, he'll feel like he's slacking. in saying this, it means he likes a project. of course, when offered a hand he's always polite when he turns it down. he built his own character and he likes to believe that he doesn't need the extra push from someone else. getting to his own things in his own time is how he works. when everyone else would rather be out downing a shot, he'd rather be cuddled up in his dorm writing.

•AFFLUNT
you start feeding a while animal for six months and then all of a sudden stop feeding it because you move away, it's going to come back to the new family and say 'what the fuck? where's my food?' well, that's the same case with zephyr. not exactly with the whole food reference. but you can't expect someone that was always dependent on himself and not other's not to keep wanting something when it's supplied. he hasn't exactly gotten spoiled since he's gotten away from his father, but he doesn't do everything on his own anymore either. in a relationship, he can become quiet needy, which deams him kind of hard to understand after the first few weeks of being with him. it's something get used to though and the best part is, he knows the right times when to back off. see? just because he's needy doesn't mean he needs a choke chain.

• BENEVOLENT
for someone that is so used to covering up bruises with 'girl make up', zephyr is quite the social butterfly. he know how to hold a conversation with almost all types of people. he isn't judgemental; he'd rather listen than give his own opinion. he's well known by many, even if they are just faces he has to match with the names. need a hand with something? zephyr is more than willing to put in his effort to help you get the gob done. just because he's 'popular' with people doesn't mean he has a lot of friends. mainly, he give out the needed information and the affection requested before he draws the line and cuts off the relationship. well, he doesn't cut it off but he will give it a break if he feels like he's getting in too deep with someone. it's him against the world and to let someone in would mean he's unguarded.

• CIVIL
thinking. it's the key thing in life that keeps you out of a verbal mess and allows you to make the correct choices. zephyr likes to think things out to the fullest extent. now, some things can drive him insane but that's what he gets for thinking about everything. the boy does have a tendency to over think things and take them far beyond than what they really mean. his emotional state of sanity isn't very healthy which probably contributes to some of his flaws. but he is one of the rare few that realize life isn't meant to be easy and that he'll never be perfect. there's a difference between knowing and thinking. his self-esteem isn't high but it isn't low either. he knows where he stands in life and really, that's all he needs right now. he's very thoughtful with school work and it builds on his creative insight.

• CULTIVATED
this baby boy never got a chance to be, well, a baby boy. he grew up understanding that it was his job to take care of himself. he wasn't allowed to be obnoxious and out of line. this stuck with him, even through his teenage years. when his friends were off at baseball games or play practice's, he was home taking care of his father because he was the devil child and it was his fault for the bills being hard to pay. he had a job to do his whole life. you gave him a basketball and he'd ask what it was. for him, he believes it's better to face the world knowing what he has to do and knowing how to do that rather than opening the door and closing it right away because you're too scared to face the world as an adult. it makes him feel good knowing that he can take care of himself and other people all by himself because of the past he's had. besides, who wants to be a kid anyway?

•MALICIOUS
i know what you're thinking. the word malicious and zephyr in the same sentence? the same room even? yep. that's right. this little boy can get rather resentful when you've done something good enough to piss him off. i wouldn't even try to stay near him, but you're lucky. he goes for the whole 'say one god-terrible thing and then run away' special. that's kind of zephyr's thing. but either way, i wouldn't want to be at the other end of this choke chain. zephyr has a very long fuse. he's not an easy person to get angry. he can get annoyed sure, but that's nothing compared to him mad. he's got a way with words and oh hell yes and he leave whip lash with that voice of his. hardly ever yelling is his tactic, even when he does get hostile. he is the lyricist for his band and man, does he know how to use his words. physical fighting is never his thing. the good thing is, he's never mad for long. normally, he'll walk it off and then come crawling back feeling like shit for what he said.

• ORIGINAL
creativity is key for the line of work zephyr does. if he didn't have a photographer's eye, he'd be bored with the subject and try to move onto something else. when he see's something; even if it's plan as could be, he could turn it into the most interesting scene you've ever seen. without a creative way of thinking, he'd problem be a dull person to be around. for zeph, the world is painted a whole bunch of different, erotic colors. he wants to be able to turn simple scenes into beautiful masterpieces with just the lens of his camera. though this could also propose as a problem for him, he doesn't let it bother him too much. just because he doesn't turn in what the school wants doesn't mean his work isn't credited. he enjoy's simplicity and everything he can turn from dust to gold.

•ORNERY
he's not the type of person that get's into a lot of betting arguments. but when zephyr know's he right, you have no hope of winning what ever you've tangled into with him. he will speak his mind, and damnit, if he thinks he's right then he's going to stick with it and you better be able to sink your claws in and go with it just like he can. he can seem innocent, but i wouldn't put it past him to never give up where he stands. and if he somehow does end up being wrong, he'll take a few hours or days even to coming close in admitting it. he will eventually admit he was wrong though. if you think about publicly making him say he's sorry, you can forget it. he's about as sweet as the next new teddy bear, but don't think for one second that you'll still have his respect if you humiliate him.

• PICTUREQUE
relationships were never the key focus for zephyr. as long as he had something for him to do, he wasn't bothered with being alone. plus, with the way he was raised, being a mormon made it hard for him to actually have a relationship when the other person wanted what he couldn't give until he had a ring on his finger. the book never said anything about the person to put a ring on his finger being another boy either. because of his parents, zephyr has very little relationship exposure. it's not that he's scared of a relationship; it's that he's nervous about how he lives and what it'll affect if he breaks off the promises his family had set in stone for him. even with his mother being gone and his father now a strong alcoholic, he's still very religious and would beat the shit out of zephyr if he happened to find out he gave up his innocence before marriage, let alone doing so with another man. even so, zephyr has great potential to be the perfect match for someone. he can be very romantic and creative.

• PUERILE
now is his only chance to act that age he never got to be. zephyr can tend to be childish but only when it's the time to act below his level and with the people he know won't care how he acts. it's been deemed rather adorable when he gets enough courage to act such ways. everyone love's being able to mess around with someone who knows how to have fun and be a kid at heart when doing so. yes, there are times when sugar rushes come into play and he's hard to handle, but you never reget being able to say you've seen zephyr out of his element and acting like a complete dumb ass. maybe it's just the alcohol that get's to him sometimes, but he does tend to act more like a child when he's consumed alcohol. but then again, who doesn't act not-like themselves when they've digested such things?

• RESERVED
because of his past, zeph has a hard time trusting people. sure, he can walk into a room full of people and be able to show all their names by the end of the hour, but really, he doesn't like to share things openly with people. he'd rather listen than be the one listened to. he's afraid that if he tells too much, he's opening doors for people to walk right in and all over him. he likes being in control of his own life and he wouldn't like to give it to someone else. he's not really shy, but he is self-localed in a way. he likes knowing who someone is and how he knows them rather than being the one that people can name right off hand. the close friends that he happens to have know just a bit about his past and his personality. it'll take a lot for someone to actually get him to open up and give out the information he's so afraid of sharing.

• TROUBLESOME
he knows his name and he knows how he's grown up, but he doesn't really get who he is and what he's supposed to do with his life. zephyr isn't very comfortable with his own skin. he find the smallest of flaws and turns them into major thing that leave him wondering why he was born in the first place. no one's perfect. if anyone, it's zephyr that knows that the best. he's made his fair share of mistakes, but he doesn't regret any. sure, some of them he wishes he could change, but then he wouldn't be the person he is today. he likes being confused and to have a mystery. what if? there are plenty of times when you have to make a decision for the better or for the worse. zephyr's made some bad choices in his life and some good one's too. either way, he still want to figure out the real reason why he's here.

• WARMHEARTED
he's the kind of guy that's going to get you a card on your birthday when no one else remembers. no, he's not a stalkerish kind of person. he just kind and sweethearted. he likes being able to put smiles on peoples faces when they're in the worst of mental or physical states. he takes his time in picking out things for people because he wants to be remembered as the person that always gave the best of gifts, even if they were hand made. he tries his best to go out of his way and give people what they want. it could run into being a problem if he let's someone take control of his life, but he's sure he can withstand the pressure. he likes being able to wave to people on the street and have them know his name. he's the kind of boy you'd want to be with just because of how generous and caring he is. a real package deal.

IGOTMYPICTUREINTHEPAPER
ANDMYPARENTSWEREPROUD

hometown , reno, nevada.
father , drew clayton, forty three, in prison.
mother , karma clayton, forty one, reformed photographer.
siblings , sarah niles, sister, thirteen, student.
children , aidendavision what?
other important figures , sirus niles, foster father, lyricist.
rebecca niles, foster mother, graphic designer/
jayden davison, his savior.
history ,

las vegas. new york city's biggest rival. being born in the city and exposed to the valley life was the first thing that our young mr. clayton was brought to. but that's going too far ahead. how did he happen you ask? he was the result of a very drunken shot gun wedding that was conducted by the king himself. after one night of too many shots and too much vodka, the five star(only really it was a motel) residence housed the normal after life festivities. well known, nine months later, karma was giving birth to a son that surprisingly healthy. but what were the newly weds to supposed to do with a baby on there hands? before that night in vegas, they'd only known each other for four hours, give or take. now, they were dubbed with a son that seemed to be the epitome of it all. but zephyr was a good baby. didn't cry too much and always tried to keep a toothless grin on his face for his mother's pleasures.

but it just wasn't enough for mister drew. he was still young. he still wanted a life outside of this 'family'. but how was karama supposed to take care for a child on just a show girl's salary? the poor boy would be growing up in the projects if they weren't careful. she wouldn't allow drew to leave. oh no. it wasn't possible to make them both give out for this child. but as the months progressed and the battery charges seemed to go unfiled, karma had had enough. knowing she didn't have the right setting to raise a child, the only thing she could do was leave him where he was. zephyr was about three and a half by then. hell, the little boy thought he had a good life. he got to grow up watching all of his mommy's friends parade around with huge feathers sticking out of their asses. but after karama left, things started to change.

the first time his father came home after the day karma left, he was drunk. the alcohol so thick in his system he seemed to move slower than a turtle. being left to fend for himself, little four year old zephyr had pushed a chair up to the counter to be able to reach the family's cereal cub board. it would be a quick dinner before he'd put himself to bed. there wasn't anyone there to tuck him in anymore. there wasn't anyone there to take care of him at all. from a very young age, zephyr learned that the world was a cruel place. it wasn't that you were put here for it to be all sunshine and rainbows. it was people like him that brought on the reality of what life was really like. but you know, it takes a while for a child to learn that. maybe it was that hand pressing to his front to push him off the chair. maybe it was the sharp rasp of the back of his head hitting the floor. or maybe it was the way his father's palm left a sting over his cheek even after it was gone from when the boy had started to cry because of the pain. he was silenced at one, grabbed and tugged back up and told to get off to his room in some language that he wasn't even sure had been discovered yet.

but zephyr had complied. he wasn't used to pain. he wasn't used to being punished like he had been that night. with a growling stomach and a bruise arm, he went to bed to try and nurse the headache from his thoughts. when he woke up, it was still there. the dull pressure cramming the space in his mind. but what he thought would only be a one time thing turned out to be something very serious. it didn't stop after the one night of his father's heavy drinking well, because that heavy drinking didn't stop either. the more vodka that drew downed, the easier it was for him to throw zephyr around the kitchen; the living room. where ever he was that would make it possible for the boy to just be gone. school had started but the teachers couldn't care enough to really question what was going on with the young boy. vegas was long gone and reno was now the recking place for the little tyke to grow up.

by the time he was ten years old, zephyr knew how to make family dinner that normally took a house wife five tries to perfect. he knew how to clean and he knew how to keep pace with his homework so he wouldn't get behind in his classes. he knew how to rub in the perfect shade to make it look like he just wasn't getting a lot of sleep instead of having a black eye. a ten year old that knew how to be the perfect notice less victim of a child abuse case. but no one would care. that's what zephyr had to remind himself. no one would care or take the time to help him if he looked for help. never did he try to get away. he knew he had no where to go. he could try and find his mother, but he didn't have the slightest clue as to where she could possibly be. when she had left him alone with his father all those years ago, she really had left. there was nothing left of her in the house and there was no trace of where she'd gone either.

so, the school years went by and the hospital visits became more needed but never went through because even zephyr knew he had no chance at getting a broken bone fixed. he didn't eat if his father got home early to drink at home. he didn't sleep if his father felt like zephyr should be the reason of karma's leaving. he didn't wake up the next morning if there was too much blood lose for his body to recover from that night. he missed school, but it went by unquestioned. because they knew. everyone knew what happened to zephyr clayton yet they didn't give a damn or two cents to care enough to help the boy. people tried to be his friend and he pushed them away. there was no reason for him to be treated like he was something different just because he was the poor kid that got beat up by his father. he didn't want to get anyone else involved. it took fourteen years for someone to finally do something.

it was his junior year in high school when the police finally raided the clayton residence. finding his father passed out on the family sofa with a bottle of vodka in his hand with zephyr fixing up that night's beatings bruises and cuts. he was treated at the hospital for the first time and then sent to a foster home by the state. all in one year, he gained a sister, parents that actually cared and a new school that seemed like the scariest place to be besides in the same jail cell as his father. but among coming to a new school came the change for zephyr to embark farther on the music he had been so used to saving himself with all over those years. teaching himself guitar had paid off, obviously.

IJUSTWANTTOBEWHO
YOUWANTMETOBE

your name , lex.
your age , old enough.
other characters , jager, shane, shadow, and paris.
magic words , admin edit.
role play example , no thanks.